The Birth of Arthur.

10 days before Arthur’s due date, at approx 9.30 in the evening, I hopped into bed for the night. A moment after I laid down I felt a sudden pop. I immediately stood up and waddled to our ensuite where my waters released everywhere! Such an incredible sensation.

We rang the hospital and they told us to put a pad on and then head up to be examined. So that is what we did. All was perfect so we came home and was told to come back to the hospital 24 hours later.

My mum, sister and niece came over to our place to be with me.

I wasn't having any sensations yet, so we all slept as much as we could for the rest of the evening. 

The next day was really beautiful. We watched movies, I showered and washed my hair. It was a really lovely day. 

I remember having phone conversations with Lauren and Nay while having very mild sensations.

Then my Dad and Jord’s parents came over in the early evening. We ordered Indian and I ate it while bouncing on the ball as my sensations began to come.

Everyone left except for my mum and sister (and Jord of course). Things began to heat up. In the darkness I was sitting on the couch having what I thought were deep contractions. At around 11pm it was time to head back to the hospital as my time was up and I thought it was now the real deal.

My mum drove us. The car ride was uncomfortable. Waving to my sister and mum as we walked through the hospital doors was really surreal to me. Felt odd I was entering a place to have my baby and leaving them behind.

We got to the ward and were blessed with a beautiful midwife called Jaquie. She examined me on arrival and much to my disbelief I was only 1cm dilated.

What!!!

I couldn't believe it. She offered us morphine so that I could rest. We did a quick google search and called my mum to get more insight into what I was being offered. We came to the decision that it would be a good option for me so I could sleep.

After administering the morphine, our midwife left us alone in the dark room. I would have a contraction and remember the intensity but because of the morphine, I would immediately fall back to sleep once it ended.

About 40 minutes later I felt the urge to rise and go to the toilet.

As I wiped, blood filled the tissue.

We called in our midwife and she said it was a very good sign, and perhaps I had now dilated to approximately 4cm.

Hearing that was so defeating for me as we were both so tired. I walked back out into the room in a panic. I felt I couldn't do it any longer. I said out loud multiple times that I can't keep doing this.

So in my panic I began to ask for an epidural. 

But little did I know, I was in transition.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, the midwife began trying to find a vein to administer an IV. But she couldn't seem to find one.

Then on my next surge, my body began to push.

I remember using my hands to try and hold myself up as I sat, because the sensation was so intense.

I repeated, I'm pushing, I'm pushing.

My midwife looked at me in disbelief. She examined me and sure enough I was 10cm.

The room became very frantic all of a sudden. A second midwife walked in and they were both very excitable and very busy.

A sense of relief came over me. I felt as though I was floating on a cloud. I would describe the pushing stage of my labor as the best part of it. I really was in euphoria. Perhaps a cocktail of morphine and oxytocin.

I found it most comfortable kneeling and leaning over the back of the bed. But because the midwives were trying to put a monitor around my belly they wanted me to turn around. I was really reluctant to move. (I never questioned the monitor, but I suppose having the morphine and progressing so quickly, they wanted to make sure my baby was safe).

Between surges I turned over. I sat up in the bed, my back was almost straight. Once in that position I felt really comfortable again.

At about 3.30am my Obstetrician, Brad walked in. He smiled but looked so tired. He couldn't really do much for me in that moment, so he stayed in a little room that was attached to my room - where a computer was. I could see him. I questioned in my head, what is he doing? I remember saying, sorry for waking you up.

He emerged once to say that I’ll have to start pushing him out soon as It was taking a little while. I didn't really take this in at the time. He went back into the little room and I continued having surges in my euphoric state.

Then my baby began to really come down. That's when Brad emerged for good and stayed at the end of the bed. When the head was in my vagina he told me to not push on the next contraction. That was intense and I was saying I can't, over and over until the contraction stopped.

Then on one last contraction all of Arthur flew out - his head and body all in the one surge. 

And then I ripped off all my clothes and the monitor and scooped my baby up to my chest - in a bit of shock and disbelief.

My pushing stage was 40 minutes...quite quick despite Brad telling me to hurry up.

In my state I completely forgot to look at the placenta. To be honest I don't even really remember feeling it being born. I know I was given the oxytocin injection and then the placenta following very soon after Arthur was born. But I don't remember seeing it. I wasn't offered to see it either. It wasn't until the day after that I realised this and felt quite upset that I missed this part.

I remember Jord dressing Arthur after a few hours of skin to skin and little breastfeeds and then the beautiful shower I got to have to wash away the glorious birth blood. Then we moved to our room where I felt like I had the energy to have a dance party.

Our family came in to visit us and it was so damn amazing! I was walking around and bouncing off the walls, meanwhile as Jord had a bad cold….he was laying in bed having skin to skin as our family came. It became a running joke that Jord looked like he was the one who just gave birth.

The Birth of Sol.

My waters broke at 9.30pm on the 12th of Dec at 40+5 weeks. I layed down in bed and felt the pop. I had a towel beside my bed which I put there weeks ago for this very moment. I wrapped myself up and waddled to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and rang my student midwife, Shannon. Shannon was also a Doula, who I had become really quite close with. She lived at least 1.5 hours away so she was my first call. Plus the way she spoke to me was so beautiful - she used all the right words - like surrender and rest. She was such a gift.

I put a pad on and called my mum and Colette to come and be with Arthur when it was time for us to head off. Colette arrived first. I was sitting in bed and she walked in talking about things like her haircut and her trip that was in a few days. I felt so frustrated in that moment - I had to eventually tell her it was time for me to rest. 

So Jord and I layed down in the darkness. He slept and I dozed. I started having sensations almost immediately after I relaxed into bed. I layed there as they became more frequent. I loved these moments. So cozy, feeling everything, anticipating what birth would be like for me the second time around.

Because Arthur’s active labor was only 40 minutes long - my midwife expressed how this birth might also be quite quick, so I felt it was time to get ready to go at about 2.00am.

I rang my midwife's number. She was on her day off so we got through to another midwife. She said she would ring Jaya and see if she was happy to come in. 

My mum had arrived by now. As we were about to leave, I walked into Arthur’s room, just to have a little look at him. He is usually a very heavy sleeper but of course he woke. We explained it was time for his brother to come out and we were off to the birth center. He didn't want us to leave. He cried a little and kept grasping at me saying mummy. He was sitting on my tummy at one point and the sensations were coming on and off which was such a strange feeling.

We got out some milk and cookies and set him up on the couch with the TV and his grandmothers. He became happy and understanding, and fell back asleep not long after we left.

The car ride was slightly uncomfortable as to be expected. We parked and walked the linkway. At one point between surges I looked at Jord with a smile and said Ïm coping really well aren't I’’. He smiled back and agreed. Yet told me later that he knew it was only the beginning but didn’t want to take me out of my happy state.

I walked into the birth suite and saw my midwife's face. I hugged her with so much joy, so so happy she came in for me even on her day off.

Now that I had moved spaces, I had to move my body, reset my mind and connect once again to bring on the contractions.

I stood, shaking and dancing for a little while. I remember the playlist I made for birth was terrible in the moment so we changed it.

Our photographer walked in at this point. I became  really worried about her. She had left her family to come and photograph me. I was worried I’d keep her for too long. 

I felt I wanted to rest a little so I laid down on the bed. A little while later I got up to change position. Things were staying at a slow steady pace and I knew I had to change things up to get it all going again.

Jaya was so tuned in. She went over to Hayley (the photographer) and asked her to step out, grab a coffee and pop back in half an hour or so.

That was it. My worry about her was what was stopping me from going forward.

The moment she left the room, I went inward again. Everything began to ramp up. We moved into the shower. Standing and leaning over Jords shoulders while he held the shower head on my back. Hayley re entered the room here and I had now progressed past the point of not taking anything outside of myself in.

It wasn't long before I yelled - I'm pushing, I'm pushing.

We hopped into the bath immediately after that contraction. Sweet sweet relief. 

The water was so amazing on my body - it could relax freely and weightlessly. 

I remember how strange it felt to have such an intense surge and then completely melt into relaxation in between. I remember how strange it was to hear my own thoughts between surges, like I was so alert within myself but not present outside of myself.

I don't quite remember transition being as intense as it was with Arthur. I think I was just so aware. There was one moment when I said….do you think I need something? And Jaya responded by saying ‘All you need is to have your baby’’. I think that's all I needed to hear...reassurance that everything was perfect.

I remember Jaya’s sneaky look at Jord as if they were giggling together at this point. That was really special to me. 

I was squeezing Jords hands so tight during surges - which was the best comfort.

I could feel Sol move down with each surge. Between each one I would ask, can you see him yet?

Eventually I flipped over from my back to all fours for the last 3 contractions. 

A second midwife joined us here. Her name was Toni and she filmed it all underwater on the gopro. Which is incredible!

Ring of Fire….so intense.

Birthing the head. I could feel his body moving inside and his head moving in the water. I tried holding his head still as it was so strange.

Then one last surge and I birthed his body. He came through my legs and I slowly brought him up through the water. I really visualized this moment during my pregnancy. I wanted it to be slow, I wanted to soak him in before I pulled him up. We locked eyes, He looked at me so peacefully. It was 10.10am.

He came up to my chest and I realised it was over, it was perfect and everything I ever imagined.

He took a moment to cry so Jaya rubbed his back with a towel. I knew he was fine, he was looking at me and taking everything in before he transitioned. He cried and everyone silently cheered. (In retrospect, I would have loved to know to do this myself - or just to have the space with no hands or towels on us. I intuitively knew he was fine).

After a little while I looked around and saw all of the blood in the bottom of the pool. I had a little rush of panic seeing the blood, but everything was completely fine. I felt it was time to get out so I rose, and fell back on the bed where I was covered in warm blankets.

The afterbirth contractions began almost immediately. So cruel! I was not expecting these sensations so soon after birth. My placenta released not long after. 

Jaya knew how much I wanted to see the placenta, so she showed us every aspect and made it really special for us.

The only negative moment of my whole birth was the uterus check, where they push on your uterus to see if it's contracting and make sure no blood rushes out. This was awful! The pain was so unexpected.

First feed was beautiful. Jord held Sol while I had a shower.

Arthur was dropped off by Colette and was so smitten before going a little nuts in the room. Colette left for her hair appointment and Marty popped in to see us afterwards.

We left at about 3.00pm. It was so sweet walking out of there, just given birth with my babe in my arms.

I walked into our home and layed in bed for a little doze. Afterbirth pains were still intense.

My family came over to visit. We told my Dad that Sol’s middle name was his name and he expectedly sobbed. It was all so sweet.